Breadcrumb Path Hyperlinks
ParentingFamily & ChildColumnists
Ellie Presner has written the e-book on parenting — with respect, humour and an acknowledgement of the altering instances.
Article content material
When Ellie Presner talks about parenting, she makes use of the phrase “we,” not “you.”
“That’s the purpose,” she says — that recommendation isn’t about shaking a finger at caregivers. “You don’t have to do that or that.”
Article content material
N.D.G. resident Presner actually wrote the e-book on parenting, however she didn’t do it straight away and she or he didn’t do it abruptly.
Presner, who’s in her 70s, went again to high school when she was in her 30s to take a three-year social-service course. She had two young children, Kathryn and Jeremy — “We stopped at two since you solely have two palms” — and had simply separated from her husband. It was the Seventies and all the pieces was totally different.
Commercial 2
Article content material
Besides that while you discuss with Presner, you understand it was all the identical as now. Households in issue want assist, they usually want it rapidly.
She labored at Jewish Household Companies of the Baron de Hirsch Institute, then on the Father or mother Enrichment Challenge, adopted by a two-year stint as a household assist employee at Ville-Marie Social Service Centre throughout the Eighties.
She was typically referred to as on to attempt to assist individuals who struggled with alcoholism and household breakdown. “They couldn’t deal with the couple, not to mention the children. I helped some. Some I couldn’t. Typically it was too little, too late. It’s important to begin when the children are little or no. Individuals muddled by way of till their youngsters began stealing or no matter. It was very unhappy.”
And he or she was so drained. Her youngsters had been pre-teens and wanted consideration themselves, “however I’d come residence drained. I talked to them for 10 minutes and I’d say, ‘OK, if I’m going to make supper, I’ve to lie down first. Give me 20 minutes.’ They had been excellent about that.”
It was then that she began a household venture of her personal that may resonate throughout the nation.
Presner started writing a booklet of suggestions for households that included hand-drawn pictures with speech bubbles displaying frequent points and one of the best ways to deal with them. Her first was Tips about Parenting Preschoolers. The cartoons use humour and have dos and don’ts: the best way to supply selections in order that guardian and little one each come out winners and the best way to channel a baby’s power as an alternative of mandating actions that frustrate everybody. The pictures and language had been easy as a result of she was working with individuals with totally different ranges of literacy. It was supposed for households who had been receptive to studying.
Article content material
Commercial 3
Article content material
Presner’s youngsters, who each work within the IT business now, had been early adopters of know-how, so her son was capable of assist her scan the pictures to create a printable booklet. Phrase started to unfold about Presner’s little books and she or he quickly supplied them by mail. Orders got here in from throughout the nation, from faculties and libraries, daycare centres and hospitals.
![Three pamphlets about parenting on a wooden desk.](https://smartcdn.gprod.postmedia.digital/montrealgazette/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/0311-city-col-juhl-book-1.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=288&sig=ezPoxEVeWEeHXZNAqagkqA)
She revised and revised once more after which, by 1990, compiled her suggestions into the e-book Learn how to be an (Virtually) Excellent Father or mother: Dos and Don’ts From a Former Household Help Employee.
Like all dad and mom, she had doubts that linger now: “Typically we surprise what we’re doing mistaken, or assume that possibly we’re not nice function fashions.”
She believes most caregivers now have a better consciousness of the issues they’re alleged to be doing, the facility of optimistic reinforcement and the respect proven to youngsters.
One of the vital vital features, Presner says, is humour. There are humorous bits sprinkled by way of Learn how to be an (Virtually) Excellent Father or mother and the ideas she shares on her weblog, Crossed Eyes and Dotted Tees.
“I feel we’ve come a lot farther than within the ‘80s, there’s extra publicity” to info and articles that concentrate on optimistic parenting and mutual respect.
“We all know much more now, proper? We’re at all times studying issues in and mulling issues over.”
Learn how to be an (Virtually) Excellent Father or mother is offered on Amazon and through the web site elliepresner.com.
Join our superior parenting and recommendation e-newsletter at montrealgazette.com/newsletters.
hjuhl@postmedia.com
Really helpful from Editorial
Juhl: Learn how to discuss to your youngsters about drug use
Juhl: Learn how to cry like a woman
What are Quebec youngsters being taught in intercourse ed about gender id?
Commercial 4
Article content material
Article content material
Share this text in your social community