The Adventures of the Younger Regent Seymour
King Luxon had vanished,
So the Younger Regent Seymour
Was despatched to tour the outer provinces
Of the Kingdom in his place.
Seymour rode his white battle steed Hubris
And carried the garish magenta banner
Of the Home of Toad.
He got here to the drought stricken fields
Of the Fourth Property.
The pitiable scribes gnawed on the grass.
The Regent had no sympathy:
He chuckled with hearty vigour, and suggested:
“Allow them to eat legacy media cake.”
Subsequent Seymour travelled north to parley
With the fierce Tribespeople, who demanded
The honouring of Historical Treaties.
However Younger Regent Seymour simply winked
And replied: “That was then, that is now!”
Lastly, he visited the Younger Individuals
And gathered up their weetbix in a sack.
“I convey joyful tidings to your future
As loyal serfs within the sizzling dusty fields of your betters!”
The rebellious and ungrateful little brutes
Jeered and threw rotten fruit.
But the Younger Regent was unfazed
And easily mentioned “It’s all good”
As he thought of how this is able to look
On the plasma widescreens of his core constituency
Of raging boomers and their luxuriant portfolios.
On the final day of his grand tour,
His trusty steed Hubris stumbled
On a disintegrating Street of Nationwide Significance
And Seymour fell right into a puddle of foul muck.
However even at this evil omen,
The Younger Regent maintained his cheery manner.
In spite of everything, he knew what he had lined up
For the mewling scribes,
The tough tribespeople
And the rebellious little brutes:
And boy, was he going to get pleasure from
Socking it to them
For the following three years
As Regent of the Lacking King.
Victor Billot has beforehand felt moved to write down Odes to Newshub, King Luxon, and Lord Winston.
