Simply You Wait
My prediction nonetheless stands. Joe Biden will name the Butterball Hotline a minimum of as soon as throughout his presidency. He simply provides off that vibe. As we await our forty sixth president to show me right, right here’s one other POTUS—“Joe Bethesenton”—doing the deed:
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My annual listing of thanks, a Molly Ivins bon mot, and some extra goodies under the fold. Then let’s eat.
Cheers and Jeers for Thanksgiving 2022
Notice: As for the remainder of the C&J posting week, nothing formal tomorrow, though we’ll put up a “Who received the week” ballot—the best ever—within the diaries round 7pm ET. Off Monday. Again Tuesday. Have an amazing vacation and should your finish of the wishbone be the lengthy one, even when it’s important to concoct a scheme so devious that it places you on the radar of the Senate Intelligence and/or Judiciary Committee.
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Days ’til Christmas: 32
Days ’til the Nationwide Menorah lighting in D.C.: 14
Date of Lincoln‘s Thanksgiving proclamation: 10/3/1863
Variety of NFL video games right this moment: 3
Inhabitants of Turkey, Texas (hometown of Bob Wills): 326
P.c of Parade readers who consider energy do not exist on Thanksgiving: 69%
Variety of Thanksgivings throughout which Eric Trump has gotten his head caught in a can of cranberry sauce: 9
Variety of Individuals who intend to eat human brains for Thanksgiving dinner, up from 6,114 final yr and spreading quickly from northwest to southeast (keep tuned to your short-wave radios for updates and lock your doorways): 6,138
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Second:
The Progress Report has provide you with some dandy issues to be pleased about, beginning with American troops. It additionally lists:
Rep. Jack Murtha, D-Pa., for exhibiting it is patriotic to talk your thoughts.
The 90 senators who stood as much as Cheney to say that torture is just not an American worth.
The 79 senators who demanded the Bush administration element a plan for Iraq.
That Sen. Invoice Frist is just not our doctor.Take into account these further delights: Tom Delay is below indictment, Heckuva Job Brownie is not on the general public payroll, and for some inexplicable motive, the administration discovered a Republican prosecutor within the Plame affair who appears to care extra concerning the regulation than politics. […]
There’s music in poor bleeding New Orleans once more, Ted Koppel and his hair put in a commendable 25 years, some terrific new movies are out, my pet has not eaten a shoe for a whole month now, and the Mountain West is transferring from crimson to purple. So let’s all loosen our belts and get proper all the way down to the all-American custom of overeating on Thanksgiving. It is nonetheless an amazing nation, even when it’s a little unusual. I’m grateful for all my fellow residents—how would we all know it was America if we did not hear often from the nincompoop faction? Glad turkey to you all.
—Thanksgiving 2005
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Pet Pic of the Day: Suck it up, Buttercup…
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And now my world-famous annual…
Issues For Which I Am Grateful: 2023 Version
Our republic, which went one other yr with out perishing from the earth
The Democrats who fought and received their 2023 races—one other one for the historical past books and the explanation why many households will probably be including conservative tears to their gravy boats this yr
The now-all-blue Virginia legislature and the now-even-bluer New Jersey legislature
Grassroots Democratic organizers and voters, particularly in crimson states and doubly-especially girls of coloration
Younger voters—we [heart] you!
Marketing campaign volunteers, trip sharers, and polling place employees
Nancy Pelosi, with out query within the pantheon of most positively-consequential Audio system of the Home, particularly in gentle of the present Republican nincompoopery that passes for “management.”
Senator John Fetterman’s A+ trolling of the MAGA cult
The Wisconsin Supreme Courtroom, whose liberal majority is now untangling the extreme MAGA gerrymandering that stops Democrats from campaigning on a degree enjoying area.
Fani Willis, Letitia James, Alvin Bragg, and Jack Smith
Maine’s state authorities, for spending one other yr with Dem management of the state Home and Senate, and Democratic Governor Janet Mills
Docs, nurses, and hospital administrative employees
The vaccines and the mad scientists behind them
The primary responders and aid organizers who went above and past within the wake of this yr’s hurricanes, floods, and wildfires
Caregivers
The indigenous individuals of North America
Anastasiia, Sofiia and Anastasiia from Ukraine who received the 2023 Worldwide Youngsters’s Peace Prize for his or her pioneering work in serving to refugee kids
The Nobel and Pulitzer winners
Employers who give their staff Thanksgiving off
Workers who don’t get the day without work to allow them to preserve important companies operating whereas the remainder of us do
Lecturers
Immigrants
Wind generators and photo voltaic panels
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EVERYONE WHO VOTED IN THE 2023 ELECTIONS
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The Biden cupboard, essentially the most succesful, numerous, motivated, and scandal-free in my reminiscence
Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, SNL, for persevering with the renaissance in late-night political humor after the WGA and SAG-AFTRA efficiently negotiated new contracts
Freedom of the press
Freedom of speech fuck Trump fuck Elon Musk fuck Clarence Thomas
The numerous slate of Biden’s 150 federal judges confirmed by the Senate, with many extra to come back
The #5 factor on web lists that truly SHOCK me
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Ukraine’s continued humiliation of Russia
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Ta-Nehisi Coates, Pleasure Reid, Bishop William Barber, Al Sharpton, Charlie Pierce, Charles Blow, John Nichols, Howard Dean, E.J. Dionne, Eugene Robinson, David Ok. Johnston, Paul Krugman, Elie Mystal
Marc Elias at Democracy Docket, for profitable so many court docket instances in opposition to MAGA legal professionals attempting to steal elections
The Kagro within the Morning radio present
Naomi Klein, Marcy Wheeler, Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, Daniel Dale, David Corn, Lawrence O’Donnell, Nicolle Wallace
Atrios, Digby, Charles M. Blow, Joe Jervis, Michelangelo Signorile, Dan Savage, Leonard Pitts, Lizz Winstead
Media Issues, The Hispanic Federation, The Southern Poverty Legislation Heart, PFAW, PFLAG, 350.org, RAICES, March for Our Lives, Indivisible, Leaders We Deserve, Black Lives Matter, Run For One thing, Deliberate Parenthood, NAACP, IAVA, ACLU, and the numerous different advocacy organizations that stop the worst of the MAGA cult’s abuses, usually in coordination with one another
Jimmy and Rosalynn (RIP) Carter
Invoice and Hillary Clinton
Barack and Michelle Obama
Joe and Jill Biden
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DRAG QUEENS
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My accomplice, Michael, for rising outdated with me
All of my bosses (in the event you’re studying this, you’re one in all them) at Day by day Kos
The front-pagers and diarists right here, for explaining stuff I do not know boo about, particularly Kos and Mark Sumner for his or her detailed Ukraine updates which have change into nationally revered
My morning front-page blogger neighbors: the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, morning cartoonists, and Elections Morning Digest
The remainder of the progressive blogosphere, for having the knowledge to observe the entire orders issued by “Keyboard Kingpin” Markos “Mouse Tits” Moulitsas
Netroots Nation and its organizers, for placing on one other nice conference in Chicago
These amazingly upbeat Good Information Roundups
Soiled Fucking Hippies. We should breed extra of them.
My doggie. My pootie.
My squirrels: Teddy, Mama, Pierre, Pee-wee, Clefty, Gus, Hercules…and 2023 child Millie. (RIP Gladys and Ivy.)
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Books!!!
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Wineries
Distilleries
Breweries
Teriyaki sauce
Mayochup sure I mentioned mayochup!
Taco Tuesdays
Excedrin Migraine. Subsequent to the epidural, God’s present to ache aid.
Blueberries
Sweet corn
Snow Snow Snow
Evolution
Electrical automobiles
Excessive-speed rail
NASA
Unions
Variety
Maine’s proximity to secure haven Canada (simply in case)
Peace. (Yeah, it is a phrase. Actually. I regarded it up.)
That magic second on daily basis at 6am when the Bacardi 151 crosses the blood-brain barrier.
Microwave ovens, that are glorious for re-heating meals that will get chilly as a result of some fool on a weblog spent three hours itemizing all of the stuff he was grateful for.
And, say it with me…
INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK!!!
Keep secure. Keep wholesome. Go the taters ‘n gravy.
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